Where's my goat? A Christmas Gift Guide

If you would like to be ever so slightly more ethical this Christmas, have a look at the Winter issue of Baby London, Baby Surrey and Baby Hampshire magazines for my top ten green gift ideas for little ones. You can download the PDF below.

(for my family...there will be no vicarious goats this year, I promise)

Green Christmas Gift Guide, Baby London, Winter 2013

Do snakes have legs?

"Honey, can you come outside? There's a snake with legs in the pool."

Possibly one of the stupidest things I had ever heard my husband say.

Until I went outside and saw this slimy thing:

The conversation afterwards went a bit like this…

"What the hell is that?"

"Maybe it's a lizard?”

"But it has two freaky little legs."

"Or a baby snake? Do baby snakes have legs?

"Maybe they do...before they hatch?”

"Do snakes lay eggs or give birth?”

“I don't know. Google 'snakes with two legs.'”

I know. We are the dumbest people on Earth. But it gave us our answer. Firstly, no baby snakes do not have legs. And secondly, this delightful creature is a worm skink. A harmless little thing that normally lives underground, and is listed as a threatened species. How it found its way into our pool I don’t know, but I am obviously never swimming in it again regardless.

In the UK, I was fairly altruistic when it came to wildlife, but the worst we had were harmless bugs, snails and the odd moth. I didn't like them touching me or eating my clothes, but I knew their little lives were important for the ecosystem and always tried not to harm them or use any chemical sprays.

Being in Australia is more of a challenge. In the month that I’ve been here, our house has been graced with 2 cane toads, 1 huge goanna, big fat marsh flies, wasps (which stung me twice), several massive spiders, a few angry looking little spiders, and an unidentified green and yellow flying thing. We also had a dead snake on the driveway and, of course, the drowning worm skink.

On top of all that, I’m concerned the things I left in the UK will be infested when we return. I left my clothes in storage and I’m worried creepy crawlies have found their way into Big Yellow and are eating my Reiss coat.

This paranoia, coupled with the fact our children are - quite literally - scared of flies, means our Australian excursion has presented a problem. So I’ve been researching ways to repel things, rather kill them, while at the same time avoiding covering our house, the environment or our children with chemicals. Repellants are harder to come by, so some of these suggestions kill things instead. Which I know is neither kind nor green...I might need to change the name of the blog. Anyway, here are the best ones I found:

Basil spray (for ants, spiders, earwigs, flies, beetles and caterpillars)
Pour 1 litre of boiling water over 2 firmly packed cupfuls of chopped basil leaves. Allow to stand until liquid is cool. Strain and use within 2 days.

Citronella (for ants and ticks)
Combine one part citronella oil with 10 parts water. Pour the mixture into small containers/jars and hang them in the affected trees. Empty mixture and replace once a week.

Garlic (for snails, spiders, caterpillars, beetles, termites and ticks)
Spray which only keeps for a few days: Roughly chop 10 cloves of garlic with 1 litre of water. Leave to infuse overnight, then strain.

Spray which keeps for several months: Roughly chop 200g garlic. Add 7 tablespoons of mineral oil. Cover and leave for approximately 24 hours. Dissolve 20g of pure soap in 1 litre of water, add this to the garlic mixture; mix well. Filter finely. Store in a cool dark place (cooler the better). Use diluted at one part concentrate to 10 parts water.

Marigolds (for ants, cockroaches, bugs, fleas, beetles and flies)
Pour 1 litre of boiling water over 2 firmly packed cupfuls of flowers and leaves. Allow to stand for half an hour. Strain and use within 2 days. Spray is potent.

Mint oil (for ants, bugs, cockroaches and fleas)
Place several handfuls of mint leaves (preferably - pennyroyal or peppermint) into a glass jar and cover with oil (safflower or sunflower oil). Place in a sunny position for 3-6 weeks, shaking ever few days. Strain and use within a few days.

Thanks to www.treesrus.com.au for the info

Discount for A Little Bit Green readers

I love a good discount code. And Dan, the man, from Onya Innovations, is generously offering A Little Bit Green readers a 12.5% discount on everything in his online store until Christmas Day.

The products are clever and gorgeous. Have a little look for yourself - visit Onya.

(PS. I'm not being paid to say that)

Death threats and composting

My daughter is learning about growth and development at school. Which I discovered when I overheard this conversation between her and my mother-in-law ...

"What did you learn at school today?"
"That it goes: baby, toddler, child, teenager, grown up, Grandma, dead. So you'll die next, Grandma."
Silence.
"Don't worry. You'll just go to Devon - that's where dead people live.....but Ben lives in Devon and he's not dead, so how does that work?"
"I think you mean Heaven."
"No, it's Devon. But I'm not going to Devon - I'm going to be an elephant. And mummy doesn't believe in cheeses so she's going to turn into dirt." 
More silence.
"So, when are you going to die, Grandma? I think it'll be soon because you're quite old, aren't you?"

She's a delight. And she was on a roll. Later that week, she stomped out of school complaining that one of her friends kept telling on her. Apparently she had been repeatedly telling her small 5 year old friend that she was going to die (not in a threatening way, more creepy and serious). She was baffled as to why her friend took issue with it, but smug that she didn't get into trouble.

 "I told the teacher that it's not mean because it's true. She is going to die. And so is the teacher. But I said they could be elephants too if they liked. Because that's kind, isn't it? Yes it is. Don't you think so, mum?" 

Um. Is it kind to tell someone they can be an elephant after they've been terrified into thinking they're about to die?

Anyway, I've decided to harness the horrifying macabreness of my offspring and give it a less socially disturbing outlet. I am proud to say I have resurrected our (ie. the people we bought the house from's) old compost bin and tried to transfer her interested to decaying vegetables instead. 

It's not going well. But I'm still hoping it will satisfy her disturbing obsession with death.

The three main obstacles to composting in our house so far have been:
 

1. Spiders under the lid of the compost bin. Every. Damn. Day.

2. Having to walk outside and touch gross stuff. Hassle.

3. Knowing what to put in the bin, how long to leave it for and how to get it out (so basically everything to do with composting)

4. My 3 year old son eating the decaying scraps while I'm trying to put them in the bin.

 

So, for those of you as dumb as me, I have created a basic how-to-compost-when-you're-lazy-and/or-clueless guide (although if your local council has a food 

waste collection service, you might not want to bother.)

 

Composting for dumb people

1. Buy a compost bin for outside plus a mini bin for inside. Ideally put  your outside bin in a sunny spot on bare earth.

2. Fill your bin with this stuff - a mix of 'greens' (tea bags, fruit and vege peelings, salad scraps, grass cuttings, coffee filters etc) and 'browns' (cardboard, egg cartons, paper, fallen leaves, twigs, bark). Too much of one or the other is bad, so mix it up well to get a good blend of both greens and browns. 

3. Don't put this stuff in - meat, cooked veg, dairy, diseased plants, weeds with seed heads, nappies, dog poo or cat litter.

3. Wait for ages (about 9-12 months) and keep topping it up.

4. Look at it - once it looks like crumbly, dark soil and smells earthy, it’s ready to use. So lift the bin a little bit or open the hatch at the bottom and scoop out the fresh compost.

5. Stick it on your garden

That's it! Hopefully you now know vaguely more about composting, or how to terrify an old lady, than you did 5 minutes ago. 

If you would like more detailed info, visit www.recyclenow.com.

Eco Shopping ... not as ugly as you think

I've been putting together a green Christmas gift guide for a magazine, merging two of my favourite pastimes - writing and shopping for random things I don't need.

During my research (can you call shopping online research?), I discovered ethical shopping has come a long way. Admittedly, there are still some hideous homemade clothes (think About A Boy-style knitwear) and some pretty scary personal hygiene products (cloth toilet paper - really?) But on the whole, it no longer seems like a worthy compromise to buy green.

So, I was going to write a post about my favourite green goods, but as that's what I'm being paid to do elsewhere, I might get sacked. Instead, I've made a list of 5 everyday household things that you could easily swap for a more ethical version (kind of like that annoying switch & save page at the end of an Ocado shop).

Switch & Save the planet! (well, a bit)

1. Straws 
Swap plastic straws for paper.
They're single use, which is a complete waste. But they're biodegradable. And pretty. (eBay is the cheapest place to buy them in the UK).

2. Sandwich Bags
Swap plastic sandwich bags or cling film for fabric ones.
Wipeable, washable and much better than plastic. And pretty.

3. Water Filters
Swap your normal water filters for Bamboo Charcoal Water Filters
They look scary - and like they might kill you - but they aren't, and they won't. And they work.

4. Gift Wrap
Swap wrapping paper for fabric.
Make your own or buy it pre-made from shops such as Happywrap. Pre-made is expensive but not if you just use it internally, for family presents , and nick it back afterwards.

5. Takeaway coffee cups
Swap disposable coffee cups for these Silicone BYO Cups. 
If you're organised and not afraid to be judged by strangers, take your own cup along when you buy a coffee (it's becoming more common, so the baristas won't think you're mental). Apparently after you use it 8 times it pays for itself environmentally-speaking.

That's it! So do all five or pick just one. It won't make a huge difference but it's better than nothing (copyrighting that slogan in case Friends of the Earth tries to steal it).

The Drugs Don't Work

I’m sitting on an aeroplane armrest, 14 hours into a 22 hour flight with a 2 year old and 4 year old. One is sleeping, the other is covering the sleeping man next to us with stickers (I know I should stop him. Instead I’ve chosen to pretend to be asleep when the man wakes up).

I'm doing this flight drug-free. Last time I flew long haul with both children on my own, I went against all my previous principles and gave them a dose of antihistamine in an effort to make them sleep. I felt guilty and it didn’t work anyway. I just had sticky-medicine-covered children screaming and running around the plane instead of clean ones. It was bad. I locked myself in the aeroplane loos and cried before we had even reached Singapore.

I fly to Australia about once a year. In carbon terms, I'm basically the equivalent of a hummer-driving American. My carbon footprint is about 5.5 thousand tonnes a year (according to this little gadget). The UK average is about 4.5 thousand tonnes a year. That one little flight to Australia accounts for about half of my annual carbon emissions.

I used to occasionally tick that little 'offset my carbon' button when booking my flights, in a nod to my previous ethical stance. But I don't even do that anymore. I realised carbon offsetting is basically a way for fat lazy countries to avoid doing anything themselves.....it's like paying someone else to diet so you can stuff your face with cake. And, according to lots of environmental experts, carbon offsetting doesn’t work anyway.

The government has tried all sorts of ways to gently discourage people from flying, but who wants to give up an exotic holiday to save the stupid old planet? No-one apparently. I say forget carbon offsetting, forget increasing airline taxes. Having a child has to be the most effective way to discourage a person from flying. Give everyone a child or two at the gate and you'll have people queuing to go camping in Blackpool instead of jetting off to a Greek island.

Unfortunately, if I want to see my family, I have to carry on flying. So I decided the best way to make a small attempt to offset my flight is by reducing carbon emissions in other areas of my life. There are lots of effective ways to do it, many of which involve ceasing bad habits or actively doing things. But if you can’t be bothered with all that, there are some small ways to reduce carbon emissions that barely even require you to move from the sofa. Here goes….

1. Buy less food. And make it organic.
We throw away more food from our homes than packaging every year – about £50 worth every month. It's a huge waste of resources. So, try to buy less food and cook less than you think you need to. If we all stop throwing away food that could have been eaten, the benefit to the planet would be the equivalent of taking 1 in 5 cars off the road. With the money you’re saving, you could pay the little bit extra for organic whenever you can.

2. Ditch plastic water bottles

UK tap water is among the safest in the world, but we each drink around 35 litres of bottled water a year. It’s bonkers. The bottled water market is unsustainable. It has 30 times the carbon footprint of tap water and costs hundreds of times more. Blind taste tests have shown most people can’t even tell the difference. So, buy a reusable bottle and fill it with tap water instead. There are lots of great ones on the market - brands such as Onya, Klean Kanteen, Sigg, and One Green Bottle do some fun designs for kids too.

3. Turn your heating down a teeny weeny bit (or vice versa for air con)
Ideally, we would all wrap up warm and turn our heating right down but, realistically, who wants wear a coat indoors? ‘Just run around and flap your arms’ is my husband’s sage advice when I try to turn the heating on in October, but you don’t have to go quite that far. Turning your thermostat down by just 1°C could save around £55 and 230kg carbon emissions every year. While you’re at it, check the temperature of your hot water and turn it down to 60°C (which is still hot enough to kill any harmful bacteria).

4. Choose green energy
When you're next choosing an electricity supplier, go with one that supports renewable energy sources, such as wind power and biomass.

5. Stop using wrapping paper
Wrappng paper is pointless. It really is. In just one year in the UK, we collectively use enough wrapping paper to reach the moon. Much of the dyed, glossy paper can’t be recycled, and even the paper that can be recycled is a waste of natural resources. Using something once and throwing it away makes no sense. So, wrap your gifts in fabric or in a piece of your children’s artwork. It’s free and is a great way to rid your house of hundreds of kiddy paintings without the guilt of putting them in the bin.

5. Wash colder
Switching your washing machine from 40° to 30° uses around 40% less electricity. Tumble-drying is a huge waste of energy, but if you are going to use one make your clothes aren’t soaking wet first by using a fast spin cycle. Also, cleaning out the lint filter speeds up drying times (who knew?).


So there you go...a few small adjustments to help you justify those completely unjustifiable long haul flights. If you’re feeling inspired and want to do things that will require a bit more effort, the Carbon Fund gives lots of advice here…

Oz!

I Hate Bees...but do this anyway

I'm not a fan of bees. Especially the massive fat ones that get stuck in my conservatory, buzzing and smacking their furry heads (do they have heads?), until my children  coax me to catch them in our giant spider catcher device and set them free. But they're useful little creatures, and apparently we're killing them all off.

I don't really like petitions much either, but the Friends of the Earth Bee Cause is actually working. So take a second, sign it and you'll have helped to save an entire species without even getting off your iPad.

Bees are scary but I'll save them anyway